Dating money issues
We met on Ok Cupid and we've been living together for about a year."How did the two of you handle money in the early stages of your relationship? It wasn't like he asked me out and I said yes; we mutually went out. "Well, when we first started dating, we were more on the same page, money-wise. Sometimes, he would treat me to dinner or I would treat him, but it felt very balanced."Have things changed from the beginning?If he buys the plane tickets, I'll pay for the dinners, so it feels like I'm contributing. I've found myself taking on more and more freelance work; it's not a bad thing, because it's what I enjoy doing.I'm not saying I accept gifts all the time, but if he does offer to pick up the check, when I can't afford to split it, I let him do that. If I had a dentist bill, which I need to split up into payments, I would never let him pay for that."What about if you get married? I think it would just depend on if we merge our finances or not. But I feel like I wouldn't run after opportunities that involve making more money if it weren't for the fact that he's chasing it, too."How do you two handle paying for things now? He pays for utilities, but I usually pay for the groceries. Or say we do dinner and drinks, I'll pick up drinks and he'll pick up dinner.Big purchases, he generally pays for — if we go to a wedding, the hotel, flight, wedding gift, that kind of stuff.Things that would significantly hurt the way I spend money throughout the month.Several months ago, we polled more than 500 women and found that when it came to dating, heterosexual women were oftentimes coupling off with partners who make significantly more money than them. His salary has increased at a more rapid rate compared to mine."Was there a moment when you realized, ?
The issue of money and who pays for what can arise at any point -from that first date to making major financial decisions and purchases when you ar already in what seems to be a stable, long term relationship.
By now, it's almost an unspoken thing for us, where he can sense if I don't have a lot of money, but it's still something I think about a lot more than he does."Have other things changed since you moved in together? I do things for him that aren't financial, but are on the same level. If you take away the stigma of money, it's just about supporting each other in different ways.
And now, we're a lot better at communicating about it.
Since I didn’t publish that item myself, I don’t feel that I should post dissents here.
Instead I have forwarded those messages to the editors of the CORONA, Calif.—Roberta Gordon never thought she’d still be alive at age 76.I racked up a bunch of debt, like, ,000, and I ended up just cutting it up.