Dating someone whose parent has cancer
For those living with cancer, changes that affect roles and relationships in your daily life may be especially challenging.Cancer treatment can cause a change in energy level. Phil and I were directed to a booth by the hostess. It was hard to look at him, so I just focused on the napkin folding. He told me later he wasn’t so nervous about the cancer part, but that maybe I’d leave him like the other women he’d dated in the past. ”At the time I was asked, I was caught off guard and didn’t really say anything.He told me what I already knew he was there to say. I had badgered him for months to get a follow up check-up after his surgery—the removal of one of his lungs that was riddled with cancerous tumors a year or so prior to our meeting each other. Although I already knew it from the way he sounded on the phone as he asked me to meet him at the diner, but finally hearing it from him, my heart sank deep into my chest. I have actually heard so many strange and oftentimes insensitive things, nothing really shocks me anymore.But do I consider marrying Phil as a huge giant risk with too many red flags I shouldn’t have ignored, a risk that would far outweigh the benefits? With a background in journalism and a sudden need to “figure out what to do,” she turned to writing about her experience with a husband with cancer, caregiving and widowed parenting and overcoming the aloneness of all of the above.She believes the art of storytelling brings people out of the dark into the light together to share in joy, humor, suffering and pain in life.Maybe therein lies the romance—we, any one of us here on this earth, choose to love and unite with another human being who is as broken as we are. Contrary to Shakespeare’s lovers, Phil and I were not victims to a vengeful and merciless universe; there were no constellations of burning balls of fire out to get us simply out of an act of randomness and alignment.We choose to weave our lives together with one another, always knowing in the back of our minds that we can lose that person and the strings holding us together can be frayed and untied. No, the battle wasn’t in the universe to keep Phil and me together, the battle lies in a broken, fallen world and ultimately, the war in his chest was a tiny cell, multiplying into a silent giant.
Most cancer patients feel pressure to maintain a positive mental attitude, and too often this pressure prevents them from expressing their true feelings.
Side effects could affect the way you feel about yourself.