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26-Feb-2020 13:01

All of these dates were very stressful because of the time being I devoted just to get to the date.

First date failure, whether because she wasn’t what I was looking for or the reverse, was very difficult.

Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.

Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.

Better Definition As I went on more and more dates in a short time period, I realized that what I really wanted in a woman and what I had been willing to accept were very different.

When I was only meeting one girl a month, there were so many qualities that I didn’t like that I would ignore simply because I didn’t want to have to start all over with someone else.

I was discovering which conversations worked better than others and was able to avoid bumps in the conversation all together.

The confusion of first-dates was disappearing altogether. I hadn’t even thought that having fun could be a part of online dating but as I grew more comfortable, I had more fun.

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It also helped me better define what I was looking for in my profile. Greater Comfort One great side-effect to dating so actively was that I became more comfortable with dating itself.

Once I relaxed, I felt much better about the impressions I was leaving.

Even when things didn’t work out and my date was not interested in seeing me again, at least I knew we just weren’t a match instead of wondering if I had only done “better” would she have liked me? Improved Odds If you believe that you can get along with out there then dating few people could work for you.

When I was relaxed, there was no “doing better” or “doing worse”. For the rest of us, the biggest part of find that special someone is opportunity.

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To put it another way: imagine there is a room with 100 singles of the opposite sex in it and in this imaginary room there is one person who is a “match” to you.

I still wasn’t the most confident guy (for example, I still wasn’t randomly asking girls out in public) but I was becoming very comfortable on dates, which gave the appearance of confidence. Less Stress With dating multiple women, there was always another first date on the horizon. I lost my hell-bent desire to make every date go perfectly.