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Appeals to commitments and marriage vows will not work.People do not want to be in marriages simply because of obligation. After that, they must continue to enjoy each other daily to keep their emotional connection strong.They then try to convince their spouse that his or her leaving was a mistake.It is an unattractive message: That’s not easy to do when your spouse is telling you it would be better if you were just friends or to give him or her “space.” Clients often need a lot of guidance at this stage because their emotions make them want to react in ways that push their spouse further away.

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It is the emotional connection between you and your spouse that keeps your marriage together. Reconciling works best when you don’t try to do it in one step. If you will take it in stages, you can go at your spouse’s pace.