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"When someone gets to know you, they might add you to their (friend) list," he says. I know people who do that all the time, but they don't do it with complete strangers."Kirk has been a member for almost four years, and rarely has cybersex anymore.
The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says.
Others, though, spend so much time on cyber sex that their lives and relationships suffer. Although sex chat and performances may be shared online, the participants are physically alone with their computers. Cyber sex addiction has the same characteristics as any other addiction. A person with addiction to cyber sex feels cravings for an online "fix" much like an alcoholic craves a drink.
Being online becomes a priority, to the detriment of real-life relationships.
We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.
Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" – telling other people what to do on their cameras – or harassing other members, particularly the women. " or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.
It sounds harsh, but it's what keeps a core of 30 or more regulars returning to the room, week after week."Women have told me they like to come to our room because we don't mess around," he says.
"Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.
Women have told him that they prefer to see faces to cocks, so he keeps his camera pointing higher, à la Beautiful Agony.Choose Help, a recovery organization for struggling addicts, suggests that you may be addicted to cyber sex if: Other warning signs may be part of addiction, or they may reveal that a person is at risk.