I am dating a man who is separated
Love is when TWO people are committed to each other by choice every single day, not when one person has tingly thoughts and can’t let go of a complicated situation. I couldn’t tell you if he’s going to go back to his wife, move out, or how quickly he’ll be able to move on.I can tell you that these are decisions that are dependent on what’s right for HIM, not what’s right for YOU.Evan, Your advice is spot on; I have recently been dealing with a couple of friends crying on my shoulder over the very same situation; they “fell in love” with a “separated” (AKA still MARRIED) guy and are now devastated.One ended up going back to his wife and the other wanted to “explore a bit” and is now dating multiple women, on Tinder, etc..I think dating a separated guy is a recipe for pain and the odds way against you.Wait till he’s divorced or at least been legally seperated for at least a year.I have told him I support him 100% in whatever he needs to figure things out in his life.
Love is what happens AFTER the smoke has cleared and you can assess your relationship properly. For all I know, you are wonderful together — true star-crossed lovers, that, in different circumstances, may have a chance. Objectively, you chose a man who is both physically and emotionally unavailable to you — and while he is in no rush to get married again, you’re putting your entire life on hold for him.
It is best to make it clear from the start of your relationship that while you care about this hard life passage he is going through, you prefer not to talk about things that are best dealt with between him and his therapist or him and his ex.
He may have a last-minute meeting with the lawyers.
You don’t have the skills, nor the interest, and there are experts out there who are better suited to helping your guy work through this challenging time.
You may think that you want to be there for him, that you like feeling needed, and that this is a way he will see that you are a great match for him.
They still live together (sleeping in separate rooms).