In dating an older
If you’re a gay person in your 20s, Ellen was out for your whole life.If you’re in your 50s, you remember all your friends dying of AIDS.We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.So when you meet someone who has clean towels in their bathroom and, like, a , it’s intoxicating.He controlled the relationship, at least superficially. We also had different ideas of what qualifies as fun. so we could have the first pick of strawberries at the farmers’ market. But in hindsight, I think we might have just been incompatible.I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public. He also avoided hanging out with my friends—my theory was that he hated feeling like the old man at the party, while he argued that “going to Brooklyn is embarrassing.” And then there was the issue of energy levels: He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg.
He refused to come to my apartment (I had several thousand roommates), so we’d always hang at his place. and then feel like I owe you a blow job as payback for the guacamole. When the Older Man and I eventually ended it, I chalked it up to the age gap.
And yet, it’s not an accident that the teacher is a sexual archetype: Power, and the transmission of knowledge, are inherently erotic.