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28-Jan-2021 04:53

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In Hebrew School, they taught all of us little Jews that our people were God’s “chosen people.” They also taught us lots of other things, like how to read and write Hebrew, and which foods are kosher, but they didn’t really do anything to prepare us for a lifetime of dating non-Jews.

Purcell’s essay seemed a throwback in other ways, especially in its suggestion that Jewish men only experiment with Christian women before returning to the fold — a stereotype both recalled and mocked in Amazon’s hit show “The Marvelous Mrs.

Maisel,” which is set in the 1950s, when a Jewish father tells his son, “Shiksas are for practice.” The intermarriage statistics that Purcell cites actually undercut her own argument: As the landmark 2013 Pew study on American Jews reported, 44 percent of married Jews — and 58 percent of those who have married since 2005 — have non-Jewish spouses.

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She calls them “lackadaisical” Jews who only celebrated the big holidays each year.

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But as the relationships deteriorated, she says the fact that she wasn’t Jewish came to bother the men, and it repeatedly came up in conversations over time — along with other issues such as “money, careers and plans for the future.” After leaving her, both men wound up “settling down with a nice Jewish girl.” “I guess dating me had been their last act of defiance against cultural or familial expectations before finding someone who warranted their parents’ approval — perhaps the equivalent of a woman dating a motorcycle-driving, leather-jacket wearing ‘bad boy’ before settling down with a banker with a 9-5 job,” Purcell wrote in the piece published last Thursday.

Annika Neklason, an assistant editor at The Atlantic, pointed out the similarities between Purcell’s essay and one published in The Atlantic — in 1939.



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